Chapter 1 Begin with the Ending

The Healing Project Book

By Dennis Lantz

CHAPTER 1       Begin with the Ending

Once upon a time, two decades prior to publishing my first novel, I was involved in a fiction writer’s discussion group. We would meet at local libraries or diners to talk about various facets of character, plot, scene, or story development. The group didn’t last long, unfortunately, but I was able to gain some important storytelling concepts. At the very first meeting, the managing author asked us, “What is the most important thing to know before beginning a novel?” The answer, according to him… was the ending.

If we think of life as the ultimate mystery novel, we already know how it is going to end. We are all going to die. Unless you are taken up like Elijah in the Bible, every person born, including you and me, is terminal. It is our destiny to expire from this mortal existence. You may think that is a morbid statement. Or perhaps you find it frightening. But honesty is the foundation of the healing process and understanding that our life has parameters can provide peace.

Death is the great unknown. You can have faith and even strongly believe in a particular outcome, but you will never know until that moment arrives. I remember talking to my mother a few months after she was diagnosed with terminal cancer. I wasn’t feeling very upbeat or optimistic as I sat by her bed. She explained that the doctors could not give her a specific timeframe, but it was likely that she only had a few months left.

“It’s exciting,” she said. The last words I expected to hear. She smiled and a knowing twinkle flashed in her eyes. “I can’t wait to meet Jesus and to see your father again.”

At that moment I realized that my attitude about death had been wrong for my entire life. I had spent decades worrying about it. I can even admit to borderline thanatophobia, an intense form of death anxiety. I let this fear control my activities and actions for much of my adult life.

The way I see it now is that we can give in to fear and suffer… or we can use it as motivation to accomplish our dreams. I am not being morbid when I say that it is important to ask ourselves some questions about death and dying. To define it is to lessen its power. I know that I am not the only one with anxiety. Nor am I the only one who has decided to use fear as motivation. Here are some of the questions I believe are necessary to ask… and the answers that I have found helpful. To be clear, I understand that not everyone is afraid of death or dying. But that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t ask the questions.

 Why do we fear death?

Death is the great unknown. The ultimate mystery. Often, we equate the dying process with pain. Even though I expect our bodies shut down some pain receptors as it happens, no one wants to experience pain.

Death is about change. Some people do not like radical change, especially considering that it may bring about a state of being that is worse than the one we are existing in.

How does the fear of death affect our life?

As I said, fear can inhibit our peace and growth if we let it. Or it can be a motivating factor to be a better person. The entire structure of Christianity is built on the premise of motivation. Believe that Jesus died to save us, accept that gift, and you will be rewarded with eternal life in heaven. Refuse such a gift and you will suffer damnation. I grew up in a holiness church that espoused such a carrot and stick theology. We each must come to our own understanding of spirituality. If I had been raised differently, I would have had different experiences. It is only speculation that they would have made me a better or worse person.

Do we only get one chance at life?

The real answer is that I don’t know. Believing that we only live once (YOLO, as the abbreviation goes), can be a positive motivation. Without proof, and without sharing any testimonials or citing any religious scholars, I admit that some part of me hopes this isn’t the case. I love life. I believe it is imperative that we make the most of the one life that we know we have. Coming back to experience more would be a bonus.

Can we get rid of our fear of death? Should we?

The fear of death changes throughout our life. When we are young, the fear is low, maybe even non-existent. Some of us are exposed to death at an early age and others are taught to fear it. But generally, thoughts of death do not inhibit the young. The first fears, for those who haven’t been exposed to death, may come when they start having children. Not only to parents fear for their children’s personal survival, but they begin to worry about what might happen to those children if they should suddenly be orphaned. The fear of death usually subsides when the children are grown.

Obviously, not everyone has children. Those of us who do not, often have substitutes to hold onto the fear. I worry about what will happen to my wife should something happen to me. I worry for society. I’m not a narcissist. I don’t need to be humbled with the realization that the world will not end when I die. But I do hope to share some of my ideas before I do. While I have no desire to be famous, I often hope that my stories will be heard or acknowledged. Like many, I long to have my voice join in the chorus of life.

Disease and health emergencies can bring on anxiety. We deal with it in our own ways. I have found that, the older I get, the less I fear death.

I don’t believe we need to completely discard our fear. If it allows us to appreciate life more, then I don’t see a reason to get rid of it completely. But if it inhibits our appreciation, or if it stops us from pursuing our purpose, then it must be discarded.

In the face of death, how can we make the most of life?

Life is different for each of us. In this book I will explain that each of us has a purpose. For some, it is difficult to know what that is. For others, it is clearer. Often our purpose is not specific, for example, maybe you are meant to teach. Other times, it is very clear. You are driven to improve the lives of disabled children. It makes sense that we each have our own unique purpose. Maybe you are a decision maker for others… or perhaps, your role is to be a signpost to point the way. I think of myself as a signpost.

I don’t discount the idea that many are tasked with living a good, simple life. If you are one of those, enjoy the many blessings that are offered.

Some view death as a transformation of the soul. A metamorphosis to another form. A new adventure. The culmination of existence. All of these may be true, but I have no personal proof. My mother believed a new adventure awaited. I’d like to have her faith.

Others think that we cease to exist when we die. It’s the ‘are we spiritual beings having a human experience… or human beings having a spiritual experience’ question.  I know what I believe. You don’t have to share those beliefs to heal or to benefit from The Healing Project. 

Remember that life and living aren’t about death or dying. I’ll write that again because it is important. Life and living aren’t about death or dying.

While fear, stress, and pain are arguably beneficial indicators of poor health, we must not let them overpower contentment. Other inhibitors of health exist. Poor attitude, irrational behavior, and selfishness. In the Christian tradition, the seven cardinal sins can be added to this list. Pride, greed, envy, wrath, gluttony, lust, and sloth. Anything that keeps us from health is a crutch and should be abandoned.

Not only do these crutches keep us from health, but they also hold us back from fulfilling our purpose. We will take a closer look at that in the next chapter.  

All fears have a reason for existing. It is up to us to recognize whether they have too much power over us. Fear of death can stop us from living… or it can motivate us. The same can be said about the fear of failure. Or the fear of success. Or the fear of change. Or the fear of loss. Or the fear of hurting our loved ones. Or the fear of rejection.

Phobias are not always irrational. But we can grow healthier if we limit their power over our lives.  

Until next time,

Read, Learn, Live

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Dennis Lantz is the author of Zander's Tale. The Spiders of Eden, and the Pine Street Trilogy (Pine Street and the Mighty Mutation Circus, Pine Street and the Dino-Beast Clones, and Pine Street and the Mirrors of Freedom.) His nonfiction Summer in Gentlewoods uses journal entries to tell the real-life adventure of living in a primitive shelter in the woods of his family farm.

Dennis and his wife, Christy, live in Warren Center, Pennsylvania. They share their home with Austin, a Texas rescue who is a cross between a Jack Russell and an angel.

For more information visit my website or follow Dennis Lantz Books on Facebook.