Vision Quest Connections

By Dennis Lantz


I couldn’t find it. The other day I went to look for my vision quest circle and it has disappeared into the ever-changing forest. I mean, I know where it was… and I am certain I walked through it, but nothing appeared the same. The A-frame structure was quite decayed twenty-five years ago, so I didn’t expect to locate that, but I figured I would be able to see familiar tree patterns or use the dump along the creek bank as an indicator. It was just a stone throw from my circle and had been part of the scenery for as long as I could remember.

Well, at some point the stream washed out and all remnants of the junk are gone. I did find an old tire in the general area. While I can’t say that it is the same one I sat upon during the lightning storm, I also can’t say it isn’t. I remember putting that one back on the dump.  

While re-reading the entries from my vision quest, I felt the tug of the spirit. I’m ashamed to admit that I’ve regressed. My spiritual life has flickered like a candle. There have been moments when it was nearly snuffed out. I’m human. An excuse, I know. But on any given day I struggle with anger, frustration and disappointment. I’ve been worn down by troubles even as I’ve been sustained and uplifted by the incredible parts of the journey. Too many days I just exist instead of living. Changing that is a worthy goal.

A thousand years from now these will be known as the dark ages, not because of any absence of technological advances, but due to a lack of spirituality. Tanner Z. Landsight said that some time ago and I generally agree with him.

But remember, even in ages of darkness there are beacons of light. You can shine.

I won’t apologize if this article sounds like an overview from one of the many self-help books I read during and after my stay in Gentlewoods. I’m a huge believer in self-discovery and inner peace.

We live in troubling times and are frequently bombarded with information. We hear some phrases so many times that we just assume they are true. But some are specious and fall apart when we analyze them. And others may actually be untrue and cause us harm. Now it is even more important to assess our thoughts. Anger and hatred are easy and eat away at the soul. They destroy. Love can be more difficult, but it fulfills. Our better angels can win. We can realize our dreams.

Twenty-five years ago, when I watched the lightning bugs during my quest, I was reminded that we attract other people by our thoughts, words and actions. Today’s world may seem tough and chaotic, but kindness and integrity are still to be found. There are folks who understand… who value peace and love. They know that compassion is not a crutch to ease our journey, but a pillar of strength that guides us like the northern star directed our ancestors.

Our vision quests ended with a dose of real world fiscal chaos (at least for Mark), but that did not halt the search for understanding. In the weeks and months that followed, I sought meaning in everything. I wrote down and studied my dreams. I talked to the birds. I watched the moon. I read a large portion of the New Testament… maybe all of it. I meditated on what I consider the pillars of happiness… love, joy, peace and purpose.

Even then I knew that I wished to share my thoughts, ideas and stories with the world. I didn’t think that it would take this long for that to happen, but time is irrelevant in such instances. As the self-help books say… now is the only moment you can live in or change. You can’t go back and do it yesterday.

All of my tales have elements of nature. Some, like my forthcoming novel, The Spiders of Eden, has themes and scenes directly inspired by my 1995 vision quest. The lesson of the two spiders is included in that story. The dramatic realization that we can choose our actions left an indelible mark on me.

In the novel, Jonah Pepper experienced the spiders and their differing reactions to the ‘hand of fate’ when he was a young child. Years later he is trapped inside a massive wilderness arena with electrified walls. Humans and robots hunt him. Like the spiders, he must choose. Physically and emotionally beaten, he understands that he can play dead and wait for his problems to resolve themselves… or he can attempt to evade his pursuers by frequently changing hiding places. There is no guarantee that either choice will help him survive.

The night of the lightning bugs is ingrained in my memory. Every time I see a single one of those bioluminescent beetles, I envision thousands. The image pops up in my writing occasionally. I have likened the scene to a three dimensional planetarium. They were blinking all around me. I was one of them.  It was a show, equally as powerful as that portrayed in another upcoming novel, Pine Street and the Mighty Mutation Circus.

Perhaps someday I will be lucky enough to espouse every single aspect of the spiritual, emotional, physical and psychological journey that I went on that summer. If not, I hope to at least share the acknowledgement that life is incredible. Appreciate it fully. Expand your knowledge, shake up any beliefs that are no longer valid and dream big. There are so many wonders to experience. There are so many stories to share.

Until next time,

Read, Learn, Live

This tire remains in the area of my vision quest circle. I am not sure if it is the same one I sat upon during the storm.

Wild multi-flora rose invaded Gentlewood several years ago. Now there are a few remnant bushes.

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