My Photogenic Soul

By Dennis Lantz

Never once in my life have I uttered the phrase “I would like to have my picture taken.”

I am not photogenic. More often than not I end up displaying odd facial features… too much gray in the hair… squinty eyes… messy hair… an angry glare… whatever. It’s not me, though. It’s the camera. I don’t look the same as my profile picture. I’m actually quite handsome.

I used to believe that some small piece of my soul would be captured by those evil magic boxes, but luckily Snopes assured me that doesn’t happen.

Well, one of the stipulations of the book contract I signed was to produce a photograph of myself for my author profile on the publisher's website. Luckily I know someone who takes awesome photographs. If anyone can find my good side (or at least my better-than-bad side) in an image it would be Christy.

We both had Monday off a couple of weeks ago and the weather, though not summer-like, seemed nice enough to head outside for a mini-photo shoot. I had a couple places in mind. The setting clearly had to outshine the model (or subject or the soul-being-sucked or whatever I was calling myself.)

Luckily, she had a better location idea. The Warren Center Park is beautiful. There’s a stone wall… a covered bridge… benches… and a pavilion. Ample places for a photo shoot.

Before we went, we helped my father-in-law move some wood. He pulled an oak log off a bank and into his trailer. It measured 34 inches at the base, 19’ long and 28” at the top. It was ridiculously heavy. He used the winch on his tow truck and went through one battery and tripped some sort of breaker...but finally got it. And we loaded up some other wood after that.

Anyway, my sweatshirt was covered with sawdust when we went to take pictures. I’m not one to care a great deal about such things... and from far away you couldn’t see the little specks. I honestly intended to wear a different sweatshirt, but didn’t.

The pictures were excellent (subject notwithstanding), but the tiny bits of sawdust were too obvious. So after ‘wasting’ an hour or so... we went back to the park and did it again. This time I brushed off my shirt… took some duct tape and patted myself down… and everything was great. For some reason, I thought it would be a good idea to have a book as a prop. I’m a writer and avid reader, so it seemed logical. Most of the pictures featured me holding Origins, by Richard Leakey, Thoreau’s Civil Disobedience, Petersen’s Guide to Edible Plants, etc. Some of the images were acceptable… and I still retained most of my soul.

Back home for the second time, I mentioned to Christy that I was really trying to get an image for my author’s profile. I probably should have told her that the first time. She asked me if it was a good idea to have other people’s books in my picture. Wish I had thought about that earlier.

So we went back a third time and took more!

The only thing I dislike more than getting my picture taken is choosing which one I like. Christy doesn’t mess around… there were hundreds to choose from. On the bright side, I have enough options to last me for the rest of my life. So I won’t have to do that again.

I used a couple of them for my Facebook page and I will probably use some for the website I am working on.

But I did enjoy spending time with my photographer.

It's fun to just look at the pictures...

 Until next time,

Read, Learn, Live